Sometimes you have to fall...

So you can pick yourself back up and succeed. 

If you read my previous  post, it was not to positive. I was down in the dumps, recovering from a gym injury and binge eating...

I was eating because I was sad, I was eating because I was depressed, I was eating because I was hurt, anxious, happy, desperate, I was eating because I wanted to eat. For about 3 days straight I ate everything I could find and stuff in my mouth. It was BAD. And of course, as the cycle of binge eating goes because I was depressed that I ate all the cookies, I felt Fat,  so I ate more cookies... as if that would make me feel better?!

I remember one time I read an excerpt from the book "The Day I Ate Everything I Wanted" from  Elizabeth Berg, (Read the excerpt here) It felt a little like that. I was trying to stuff as much food in my mouth  before the day was over because obviously, I was starting my diet the next day. Isn't that what we always say, I'll start my diet tomorrow. Yeah well, tomorrow never comes. Eventually, after 3 days, I feel disgusting. I do not mean it as in I hate myself disgusting, literally, my body feels disgusting.  I mean can you imagine after three days of stuffing flour, fats, more fats and sugar down your throat, how would you feel?

After I loathed in my misery for a while I decided to do something...I went back to the drawing board. There has to be something lacking in my diet that is causing me to binge so out of control. I think it is to restrictive. I talked to a couple of friends who suggested I started counting macros to make sure I am getting enough nutrients. I will have a whole blog about macro nutrients. Right  whats important for you to now is that I am doing better. And I will be Successful at this. Sometimes you just have to fall to pick yourself back up and succeed.  

Tomorrow (no pun intended, or I should say later on today, it is 1 am here in California) I will post more info on macros and what my new nutrition plan and goals will be. Right now it is bed time. Good night my fellow bloggers.

Is anyone there, Hello it's me Debora

I have been thinking about blogging for a real long time but I just had not done it until now. In many ways, I am glad because I don't want it to be like before. I want to feel committed and see this through, which I do, Now. I came back because this is helpful for me. Not only can I clear my mind but it also makes me feel accountable. I want to continue my journey with fitness and exercise. I have came so far yet, it seem like I keep sabotaging my own goals and I don't know why. Am I scared that I will never get there? Am I scare that when i do, I wont like it? I mean what does even getting there mean? It is not a certain place, location or anything. How will I even know when I am there? Am I there now? Well, I don't know for certain but I know that as far as my fitness goals,  I am not there yet but I am close. Although,  have recently felt discouraged I wil not give up. I know I have a long way to go but I can not feel discouraged. I will not give up. I am 100% determined and focused. This time it will be different, I know it.